To return to the workforce or not after baby

So it’s been a little over a year since I became a mom and though I love being a mommy. Believe me, I am still torn between myself (career, my goals, and dreams) and wanting to be there for my son. But, I am still me- I still have dreams to achieve, is it selfish to still want to do me after baby?

Yes, I do feel guilty when I am at work and away from my son. Funny, I’m posting this blog, as I just had a chat with Bounmee about my guilt. BUT- we both had this convo already- in fact, multiple times while I was on maternity leave and we decided that for our situation it just isn’t ideal.

Realistically I cannot simply just stay at home. For three reasons- 1.) Fiscally, that’s just not possible (F.Y.I- I  took on a giant load of student loans pursuing my Masters degree). 2.) Cost of heath care is outrageous; our health care is through my employer. And 3.) my self esteem would wither away. I know this because I was on maternity leave for a good 6 months.

I am a creature who thrive on the ability to give to the community. It’s probably not just me. I know for certain many studies showed elders who feel like that are contributing to society have a longer life span than those who feel no sense of purpose.

My decision to return back to work is purely personal. Don’t get me wrong, I applaud all full time mommies out there. Being on maternity leave for 6 months has helped me gained a new level of respect for full time stay at home mommies. It’s rather annoying how society thinks being a full time stay at home mom is “doing nothing,” — you are working full time (day and night) so pat yourself on your back!

Though I miss my son immensely, I like going to work, having a little ‘me-time.’ My work is my ‘me-time’ sounds super unhealthy? But to me, my work is my dream, it’s is what I have went to school for and I still haven’t reached all of my dreams. Because when I reach that goal/dream, I develop a new one, a bigger one. I hope that I can pass this quality of being goal driven/self motivated to my son as well.

The best part of my day, is comig home to a happy smiling face baby. I know he misses mommy too because he crawls over (or walk since he just started walking more so this month) and gives me the biggest hug ever. And he will cling on to me for an hour or two!

Share your decision in the comment below as to why you decided to return to work or stayed at home with baby. I would love to hear your story!

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