Something I learned recently is that one of most frustrating thing you will experience as a parent is discovering that your partner/spouse/significant other has a different parenting style than yours. This can lead to numerous arguments and disagreements which obviously is really unhealthy for everyone in the household.
I totally get it, simple math equation: Two very different people + two very different upbringings =two very different parenting style!!!
I don’t want to sound so naïve but I really felt like Bounmee and I had it all together! Communication, and understanding! Everything to make a relationship rock steady! What is going on with my relationship? I cried!
Don’t get me wrong, my son is the best thing that ever happened to me and has brought me more joy than I can ever ask for…but as soon as I gave birth to my son, I felt as if I opened up Pandora’s box. I say, Pandora ’s box, because Bounmee and I never had arguments like these until baby came along (maybe I shouldn’t say never).
With baby, I feel like we disagreed on everything! From how we communicate with baby, what words to use, and how to teach baby the ‘right way.’ Let me explain, short and simple: he wants to be the ‘fun’ parent ,while he wants me to the one enforcer aka the ‘bad’ guy.
After many tears, we came to conclusion: We are a team!
With a little bit of work, communication and understanding, we both were back on the same page (I guess we just like reading the same story lol). Because at the end of the day, we both wants what is best for our little guy.
The thing is parenting is something I truly feel strongly about! So I made it a priority to get Bounmee to understand that we both need to do this together.
I want to really prepare my son for life. Life is not easy, and life is not fair. Life is about perseverance, and working hard. Bounmee and I both agree with these life values and beliefs.
So here are the steps I recommend for you to take if you are experiencing something similar with your partner or planning to have a baby in the near future to minimize further conflicts down the road.
1. Sit down and have a mature discussion on both of your parenting approaches.
Mature meaning: Listen and be open minded (remember you are not perfect, and neither is your husband/wife).
2. Identify which parenting style works best (check out my previous post on parenting style).
This means, evaluating your values and beliefs and go with the parenting style that best align with your values.
3. Adopt and implement the particular parenting style, but be realistic and flexible because life is all about changes.
And lastly, if you are in the market for something to read: I highly recommend the book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance or the audio version if you rather listen to it, which is my preference for long commute:
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by: Angela Duckworth. There is a chapter in it that goes in depth about parenting style and building grit in children that I absolutely love!
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Thank you for dropping by!!! All the best to you!!!